December is a crazy month. There is all the usual seasonal non-sense and to top it off both our kids have their birthdays in December. Not to mention other members of the extended family that have their birthdays this month as well, in a word – crazy. So it was that we started December after everything that had transpired at the end of November and K was doing very well. I had commented on numerous occasions, to almost anyone who would listen, how well he was doing. He had been much more “present” and seemed better able to control himself, his emotions, and his sensory needs. Often I noticed that he was walking more than running and just seemed to be more “mellow”.

On December 1 K accompanied his sister and I to her figure skating practice. I have taken him with me before and have found the experience somewhat harrowing. It is usually difficult for K to sit while I tie his sister’s skates and help her get ready for the ice. All of which may not sound too difficult but the problem comes when he wants to run away, not just in the local area of the warm room. Admittedly I find these situations more stressful than Tracy and her immeasurable patience, but I have been trying not to shy away from them and, at the same time, give K more latitude to explore while still respecting boundaries and practicing his listening skills. So it was that the 3 of us got in the car and headed for the rink and to my great surprise that K sat very patiently while I helped his sister get ready for the ice and we walked her out the the rink’s edge. Only a small reminder was needed to keep him off the ice and we were off to play in the arena, have a snack and watch big-sister skate. To my complete surprise and joy he was able to sit calmly while I helped with the skates, helmet, and gloves and we all got ready to go. Wow, a glimpse of what things must be like for “regular” families.

This trend of increased regulation continued, and I even noticed how well behaved K was at his older sister’s birthday party. Truth be told, he handled the whole thing better than I did! There were lots (13 to be exact) of 5-7 year olds and younger siblings running around all over the house and playing various games, all at volume levels that I’m sure were injurious to my hearing. Historically we have seen K not react well to these scenarios. His normal response is one of excitement (he loves when other kids come to visit/play even though he does not always interact with them in traditional ways), trying to participate, and finally overload occurs and he becomes increasingly irritable and we remove him from the situation to an area of calm where he can come down. This was not the case during “the party” and he went the duration and, upon reflection I may have been the one that exhibited his usual social gathering overload, was very pleasant and patient.

I wish I knew what was different during this time period or perhaps K is just feeling a lot of anxiety/anticipation for Christmas this year but his calm and regulation have definitely disappeared. We are hoping that once things get back to normal in the New year that he can get back on track and find that better regulated and calmer little boy. Now that would be a good Christmas gift!

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